Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
