they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
