I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
