Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
