Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
