i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
