Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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