People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
