bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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