This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
