dude i'm inner monologue high
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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