...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
