I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
