The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
