Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
