He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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