I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
