Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just tell him i said nine months
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
