oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
