Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
