is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
