I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
420 ftw
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
