FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
