You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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