try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
