she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
