It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
