I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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