Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
