She's like a pop up book from hell.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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