out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
