he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize