Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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