8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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