Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
