So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
