I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
