just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
