You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
