He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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