i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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