Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
