Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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