Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore

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  (804): i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore http://tfl.nu/d307
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  (850): View more from Florida

  One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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  (850): One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey http://tfl.nu/owfj
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

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  (480): Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis". http://tfl.nu/fly1
  Replies (39) Good night (7745) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.

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  (248): I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name. http://tfl.nu/axbm
  Replies (33) Good night (1396) Bad night (13495) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

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  (864): idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro http://tfl.nu/28z8
  Replies (8) Good night (3720) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real

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  (239): I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real http://tfl.nu/tylh
  Replies (5) Good night (3918) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  (502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e
  Replies (25) Good night (1341) Bad night (2519) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  (517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt
  Replies (19) Good night (2902) Bad night (677)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

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  (610): It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/cpyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2168) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.

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  (303): Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/0rsy
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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  (517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are http://tfl.nu/38ue
  Replies (18) Good night (1004) Bad night (2824) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

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  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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  (616): If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out (417): You'd think the first few times would have been enough http://tfl.nu/z7d7
  Replies (10) Good night (448) Bad night (1303)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

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  (937): she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality. http://tfl.nu/ox7x
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (143)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..

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  (843): It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone.. http://tfl.nu/vld6
  Replies (13) Good night (229) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt

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