Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
Follow @tfln