Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
