My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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