Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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