that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Drunk is a universal language darling
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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