It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
