need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
pray to the hookup gods
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
