remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
