Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I have post one night stand depression
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