You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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