it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
