She said her name was "party"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this just has baby written all over it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
