so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
