So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
