He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
