i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
