After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
