DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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