I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
