i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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