How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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