Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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