It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
