After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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